5 Things a New Parent MUST Own.

2-1/2 weeks into parenthood, and a lifetime of lessons already learned.

In these past two weeks I have learned a few things; mainly I have managed to comprise a list of 5 items that all new parents must own in order to survive becoming a new parent. List is as follows:

1) Swaddle-Me Blankets: These are an absolute must for the first week. Nurses have specialized training at Area 51 that teaches them how to wrap newborns with regular hospital blankets without the kiddos pulling a Harry Houdini like move and escaping to freedom. There are a few different variations and styles - but no matter the color or style - these are a MUST.

2) Car Seat: You may be saying, "Duh, how else would you get them home?" But this is not for transportation purposes. The car seat is actually the best place to get your newborn to sleep. Not sure why they like them so much, maybe they feel as though they are back in the womb or on a beach somewhere in a hammock, but it is definitely a place they feel secure enough to sleep in.

3) Pee-Pee Tee-Pee: Personally, I never used one - for the simple fact that you aren't thinking about that at the time you are trying to juggle a diaper, a baby wipe, a gas mask, butt creme, the booger-sucking thingy, and the alcohol to put on their umbilical cord. But, after having received two "golden-showers" from the little bambino..it is at least worth mentioning. (I have had advice from other fathers to just throw an extra baby-wipe on "it," again - this is a matter of good timing. Practice makes perfect.)

4) Coffee Maker: This one is for the new daddies. At three in the morning, while trying to not fall asleep standing up but also trying to be "sweet" and be awake with the new mommy in the house during feeding times, the coffee is essential to help keeping you alert. When momma ask you to jump, your only response should be "How high, dear." All the daddies out there know exactly what I am talking about, and those that don't have probably been banished to the dog house and don't have internet access and are not reading this right now.

5) Super Glue: It is for the eyes-refer to item above for explanation.

Now that I have shared my words of wisdom, the world is a safer place for all babies and parents.